


Mermaid’s Tears, Angel’s Smile

by Estrella_Sebaek



Series: EXO - 1 Song 1 Story [2]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Baby Don’t Cry, Baekhyun should thank me for writing him as a good cook, Barista Byun Baekhyun, Doctor Oh Sehun, Domestic, EXO - 1 Song 1 Story, Established Relationship, I don’t know what to tag, Inspired by EXO’s song, Jongdae is a lovely dad, M/M, Mention of Surene, i love sebaek, xoxo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-07
Updated: 2020-03-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:48:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23051239
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrella_Sebaek/pseuds/Estrella_Sebaek
Summary: Mermaid’s Tears. 인어의 눈물.The salty taste of tears when something is lost.Angel’s Smile. 천사의 미소.The sweet flavour of smile when something is found.Sehun spent his life saving people, while Baekhyun spent his life loving Sehun.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun
Series: EXO - 1 Song 1 Story [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660081
Comments: 2
Kudos: 17





	1. Baby Don’t Cry 01.

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone, I’m Estrella. Welcome to the 2nd story of the “EXO - 1 Song 1 Story” series. I was struggling and have finally decided to write a story based on a rather sensitive or controversial topic that is the centre of everybody’s attention right now. While I respect people for having different opinions, I just wish to share some thoughts from my perspective - I am an Asian currently living in Europe.
> 
> Before you proceed, I do not wish to mess things up so I would like you to read through the below disclaimers and decide if you wish to continue. I am gonna post this before each chapter:
> 
> * I did not make explicit reference to the outbreak except for a few extracts of news. If you wish, you can treat this as a COMPLETELY STAND-ALONE story.  
> * The story itself is purely imaginary, it does not reflect actual history and does not follow the actual time in which the events happened. For example, SARS outbreak in 2002/2003 did not severely impact Korea and there was no casualty at all. 38 medical staffs died, most of them were from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Again, no explicit reference was made.  
> * No confirmed cure for COVID-19 has been discovered yet and current known fatality rate for young adults aged 20-39 is about 0.2%. There has been no death case of medical staffs so far. For further details, please refer to official information.  
> * I am not in the medical field and I wrote this based on the news and my limited knowledge. My intention is just to raise public awareness and re-emphasize the fact that people with different cultural background look at this event differently. Some people tend to compare this with flu, thinking it is not a big deal, and mock others for being over-sensitive. Some are panicking and becoming more and more anxious about the worsening situation. Some just continue their chill and relaxing lives. In my opinion, the uncertainty of its seriousness, possibility of overloaded medical services and exponential scale of spreading are the most alarming and concerning parts. I repeat, there is no right or wrong perspective.  
> * Having said that, racism and discrimination triggered by and associated with this event are rather disturbing. Not all Asians travelling around or residing overseas are infected, and it is unfair to impose blind accusation. While I do agree that the origin should take up responsibility and be blamed, please bear in mind that not all Asians are unhygienic, and not all of us eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs.  
> * Lastly, don’t underestimate the severity, yet don’t panic and overreact. Respect others. Stay safe everyone.
> 
> Again, English is not my native language so please excuse me for any typos or grammatical errors.  
> This story will be written mostly in form of dialogues. 
> 
> If you decide to stay, happy reading! :)
> 
> BGM & Lyrics: Baby Don’t Cry - EXO  
> Eng Lyrics @ lyricskpop

✧  
_오직 서로를 향해있는 운명을 주고 받아  
We exchange our fates that lead to one another  
엇갈릴 수밖에 없는 그만큼  
As inevitable as it seemed that we’d miss each other  
더 사랑했음을 난 알아  
I know we have loved that much more_

✧  
“Baby.” Sehun pushed the front door and entered into his boyfriend’s coffee shop - _Cafe Universe._

“Oh you’re early today! I thought you would be occupied under... _the recent circumstances._ ” Baekhyun took off his apron with a puppy print, removed his mask and smiled at his lover.

“Yes it was kind of crazy in the hospital, but today is our anniversary, I cannot miss it.” Sehun gave Baekhyun a hug, he wanted to give his lover a kiss, but eventually stopped himself from doing so. He took things seriously. Well, he was a doctor after all.

“I know. I wanna kiss you too.” As if Baekhyun could read through Sehun’s mind, he smiled and petted Sehun’s head.

“I love you Baek.” Sehun took Baekhyun’s hand and drew a heart on his palm.

“I love you too Sehunie. Let’s go, we are late for the dinner!”

Sehun and Baekhyun had been together for a long time and this was their 10th anniversary. They were the prefect couple in other’s eyes, the most typical strangers to friends to besties to lovers story. Baekhyun was a graduate majoring in translation. He was good at it but he loved making coffee more than typing thousands of words in front of his laptop everyday. Coffee smelt nice, it made him feel warm and at ease. While Sehun was struggling in medical school, Baekhyun worked extra hard to save money by doing as much translation work as possible. After a few years of hard work, he managed to rent a place and finally opened his little paradise - _Cafe Universe_. On the other hand, Sehun completed medical school and placement with perfect result. He was offered a position in the best-known state hospital in Seoul. He had a kind soul and believed that he should use his gifted talent to help as many people as possible, especially after all he had been through. 

The couple did not share the most dramatic love story, but life was always simple and satisfying, and they were _content_ about it. 

✧  
Things were not going too well in Asia recently. The number of confirmed patients was increasing everyday. Airlines started banning international flights and some borders were closed. The Government announced school suspension. People started working form home, at the same time worrying the nightmare years ago will happen again. 

“Dae, how are you and the little one doing? Is everything fine?” Baekhyun was chatting with his friend, Jongdae.

“Yes, I have cancelled all my overseas business trips and am working from home these 2 weeks. Little Sooyeon is doing well, she is staying with her mom and grandparents in her hometown - just to be safe. How about you?”

“It’s still okay so far. I have asked my staffs not to come this week. If situation worsens I guess I will just close _Universe_ for a while.” Baekhyun sighed.

“What about Sehun? I mean... You know...” Jongdae hesitated a bit before asking this sensitive question.

“He is busy, as always. There’s no news yet if he has to stand by and treat those infected patients. But if the outbreak becomes uncontrollable, it will just be a matter of time...” Baekhyun sighed again.

“Baek...” Jongdae was really worried about his bestie.

“I’m fine. That’s his dream, Dae. I have known him for over 15 years. We were both there when the last outbreak of virus took his beloved mother away. That was a matter of bad luck, but if Sehun wants to make his best effort to avoid others experiencing the same trauma, he has my full support.”

“I know, Baek. Just remember we are always here if you feel bad and want to talk.”

“I will, thanks dear.” 

Baekhyun put his mobile down, waves of emotions and thoughts occupied his mind. He sighed again, and went to the kitchen to double check the supplies at home. People started stockpiling food, masks, disinfectant products and other daily necessities. Last weekend he searched 3 supermarkets just to buy a pack of rice and a few toilet rolls. _It is not wrong to get well prepared and make hay while the sun shines, but is it really necessary to buy 40 toilet rolls at a time?_ He thought.

He was figuring out what stuffs he had to buy in grocery store, vitamin-rich fruits like oranges and kiwis for Sehun and strawberries (of course!) for himself, some ramens would be needed in case he was not in the mood for cooking a proper dinner, probably some eggs and pork cutlet so he could make _Tonkatsu with Japanese Curry Omelet Rice_ which was Sehun’s favourite. _Oh right!_ Baekhyun suddenly remembered that he also had to buy some surgical masks and sent them to his brother, who was living in a small town where almost everything was sold out. 

Baekhyun got most of the stuffs in the supermarket and he went to a fresh fruit store nearby, one that he used to go ever since Sehun and he moved in to this neighbourhood. The owner was an elderly woman, Mrs Nam, aged around 60, who lost her husband many years ago due to illness. 

“Hello Mrs Nam, how are you doing?” Baekhyun waved his hand and greeted Mrs Nam politely. He always liked this elegant lady.

“I’m doing very great, thanks for asking. Dear, what can I get you? Fruits for you and your beloved one?” Mrs Nam asked with a friendly smile. She liked this couple a lot, they were always gentle and kind to everyone in this neighbourhood. Unlike some of the young adults, they were very well-mannered and educated. Sometimes Mrs Nam would ask them to join her dinner at her spacious apartment and to some extent she almost treated them as if they were the son she had never had.

“Yes, some oranges and kiwis would be great. Sehunie is rather busy with work lately, I want him to have more vitamin-rich fruits after supper.”

“You two are really the most adorable couple I’ve seen, and i won’t forget to pack the sweetest strawberries for you. They are super fresh and as large as half of your palm! I guess you have already consumed all you bought last time?”

“Hahaha yes, you know me well.” Baekhyun sticked his tongue out and made a cute expression.

“Here you go, the total is KRW10,000.”

“Thanks, Mrs Nam, please take good care of yourself and stay safe.”

“Dear, you too. Help me to send my regards to Sehun. I hope he is doing well. Please do join me dinner later.”

“Definitely, see you soon! Have a nice evening!” Thereafter, Baekhyun returned home with all he needed for the coming week.

✧  
“Sehunie, Jongdae and Sooyeon are video-calling us!” Baekhyun yelled in his bedroom while Sehun was washing the dishes in the kitchen.

“Yah I’m coming baby give me a few seconds.”

“Hello sweetie how are you?” Baekhyun and Sehun smiled when seeing little Sooyeon staring at the screen and blinking her eyes innocently. She was wearing a light pink dress with floral prints, her hair was tied up in a ponytail. She got the most adorable kitten-like smile, she really resembled Jongdae a lot.

“Good good. Grandma cooked delicious food for meee~ but there’s no school... and no _chinguuu_ (친구)... Sooyeon is boreddd~” Sooyeon replied with a pout.

“Hahahaa dear it will just last for a while. Once the evil monster is gone, you can come back to Seoul and meet your _chinguuu_ , and I will bake your favourite chocolate cake for you, sounds great?” Baekhyun tried to make the pouting princess happy.

“Really? Only for me? You won’t let _Appa_ eat it, right?”

“No, I won’t. Only for you, I promise.” Baekhyun smiled and finally Sooyeon’s cheerful laugh was heard again.

“Sooyeon sweetie, you have to be a good girl before you are allowed to eat Baekhyunie’s cake. Now tell me, how many seconds should you wash your hand?” Sehun asked.

“20 seconds! You said I should wash my hands with soap while singing _twinkle twinkle little star_!” Sooyeon replied immediately.

“Well done, and what else did I teach you last time?”

“I should not _ppoppo_ (뽀뽀) with _omma_ , should not touch my eyes, nose, mouth or my mask if I am wearing one!” Sooyeon answered proudly.

“What if you feel unwell?” Sehun asked.

“Let _omma_ know immediately!”

“What a smart girl, you have good memory! Next time when Baekhyunie is baking you a cake, I will also buy you the princess puzzle that you want!” Sehun said gently.

“Hurray! I love youuu~”

“Sooyeon-ah, you don’t love your _Appa_ now huh?” Jongdae asked, pretending to be angry.

“ _Appa_ I love you!”

“I love you too, but my lovely princess it’s time for bed. I’ll call you again on Saturday okay? Baek, both of you also have to take care. Good night!”

“You too, good night Dae, and sweet dream _princess_.” 

“Sooyeon is so sweet. I’m really glad that Jongdae got such a lovely daughter.” Baekhyun was lying next to Sehun on bed, their fingers intertwined.

“Yes, he loves kids so much. They make a perfect family.” Said Sehun, also genuinely happy for his friend.

“So do we.” Baekhyun turned his head and smiled at Sehun.

“ _So do we._ ” Sehun chuckled.

“Good night, Sehunie.”

“Good night, _my love._ ”

✧  
_When you smile, sun shines  
언어란 틀엔 채 못 담을 찬란  
The brilliance can’t be expressed with language  
온 맘에 파도쳐  
The waves crash on my heart  
부서져 내리잖아  
And crumble down_


	2. Baby Don’t Cry 02.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read through the below disclaimers before you continue :)
> 
> * I did not make explicit reference to the outbreak except for a few extracts of news. If you wish, you can treat this as a COMPLETELY STAND-ALONE story.  
> * The story itself is purely imaginary, it does not reflect actual history and does not follow the actual time in which the events happened. For example, SARS outbreak in 2002/2003 did not severely impact Korea and there was no casualty at all. 38 medical staffs died, most of them were from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Again, no explicit reference was made.  
> * No confirmed cure for COVID-19 has been discovered yet and current known fatality rate for young adults aged 20-39 is about 0.2%. There has been no death case of medical staffs so far. For further details, please refer to official information.  
> * I am not in the medical field and I wrote this based on the news and my limited knowledge. My intention is just to raise public awareness and re-emphasize the fact that people with different cultural background look at this event differently. Some people tend to compare this with flu, thinking it is not a big deal, and mock others for being over-sensitive. Some are panicking and becoming more and more anxious about the worsening situation. Some just continue their chill and relaxing lives. In my opinion, the uncertainty of its seriousness, possibility of overloaded medical services and exponential scale of spreading are the most alarming and concerning parts. I repeat, there is no right or wrong perspective.  
> * Having said that, racism and discrimination triggered by and associated with this event are rather disturbing. Not all Asians travelling around or residing overseas are infected, and it is unfair to impose blind accusation. While I do agree that the origin should take up responsibility and be blamed, please bear in mind that not all Asians are unhygienic, and not all of us eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs.  
> * Lastly, don’t underestimate the severity, yet don’t panic and overreact. Respect others. Stay safe everyone.

✧  
_Baby don’t cry tonight  
폭풍이 몰아치는 밤 (하늘이 무너질 듯)  
On this stormy night (As if the sky is about to fall)  
Baby don’t cry tonight  
조금은 어울리잖아  
It’s fitting for a night like this_

✧  
After another day of exhausting work, Sehun returned to their home. Baekhyun welcomed him with the same lovely sweet smile.

“Welcome back, dear.”

“It’s so good to be at home, I feel like I have been working non-stop for 72 hours.”

“Go and take a hot bath first, dinner is almost ready.”

Sehun took off his coat and went straight to the bathroom. 

“I have made this especially for you, try it!” Baekhyun passed a bowl of soup to Sehun.

“Wow it smells nice! What did you make?” Sehun tasted the soup, it didn’t just smell nice, it also tasted wonderful.

“I have prepared _Galbitang (갈비탕)_. It was made with beef short ribs. I seasoned the ribs with scallions, sesame oil, pepper powder and soy sauce then boiled them with sliced Korean radish. This soup helps strengthening your immune system and keeping your body warm. You look exhausted these days and I am worried about you... ” Baekhyun said with a concerned expression.

“Baby, you are so kind. I guess it took you quite a while to prepare this?”

“Ummm, it took me more or less 4 hours to prepare and cook it. Does it taste good?”

“Of course, it’s the best soup I’ve had. Baby I love you, thanks for being so considerate and making me such a nourishing meal. Sorry for making you worried, I promise I will take good care of myself. Now let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

They were lying on bed, talking about their day, a habit that they had kept for years.

“Dear, tell me about your day.” Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Sehun’s waist and asked softly.

“Yixing wasn’t in the hospital today so I was busier than usual. There was a woman rushing into the hospital in the afternoon, looking so lost and helpless. Her daughter caught a fever and was crying non-stop. Poor little girl was about 5 year-old, just the same age as Sooyeon. The lady was so restless, she kept asking the nurse for update. She only calmed down a bit when her husband arrived and tried to comfort her.” Sehun pecked a gentle kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead and started describing his day.

“Yah... given the uncertainty in everything nowadays it is understandable for people, especially parents, to be anxious. Do you think the girl was infected?”

“We are still waiting for the test result, but I am quite positive that she is not.”

“Hope this little angel will recover soon then. I guess her parents are gonna have a sleepless night before she returns home safe and sound.” Baekhyun tightened his hug, enjoying the warmth of Sehun’s body.

“You’re right. How about your day, bored at home?”

“I called _Hyung_ and _Hyungsu (형수)_ this morning, it’s good to know that they are doing fine. _Hyungsu_ was little bit worried about the lack of supply, but I already told them I could help in case they need anything. Seoyul and Siwoo are still very energetic and surprisedly they have not complained about the boredom... yet. Seoyul kept calling me Prince and asked me visit her and read her fairytales.” Baekhyun was always in a delightful mood when talking about his family. He _loved_ them so much.

“After that I watched a few episodes of _Crash Landing On You_ , tidied the house a bit then started preparing the dinner.” Baekhyun chuckled as he realised that he was living such a _house-husband life_.

“ _Crash Landing On You_ huh? Have you fallen for the handsome army officer then?”

“Hahaha if I said yes, are you gonna become as jealous as _Ri Jeong-hyuk xi_?” Baekhyun laughed.

“No, but I’m gonna teach you a hard lesson tonight and remind you who is the one you are falling for.” Sehun stared at his lover and said.

“Alright I was just joking. You know, handsome guys get extra _hot_ when they are jealous, so do you. You are the only one that I have fallen for, that I am falling for, that I will be falling for - but I don’t mind you giving me a lesson tonight. _Make it as tough as possible._ ”

“ _As you wish, baby._ ” 

Sehun started kissing his lover, the tender kisses turned into aggressive bites within seconds. His large hands wandered around Baekhyun’s soft body, he held Baekhyun so tightly that the two bodies started rubbing against each other. He started sucking Baekhyun’s sensitive neck and collarbone, making his lover shiver. The quiet room started to be filled with their hot breaths, and soon was completely crammed with Baekhyun’s alluring moans of Sehun’s name. A _tough_ lesson, indeed.

✧  
Baekhyun woke early and went straight to the kitchen the next morning. Sehun got up later and started to get ready for his afternoon shift. 

“Sehunie, take this with you.” Baekhyun handed him a pack of cookies in shape of four-leaf clovers.

“What’s that?” Sehun looked at the pack of cookies curiously.

“I baked some butter cookies for the girl you talked about yesterday. Have you heard about the tale of four-leaf clovers? They are so rare - there is only one ‘lucky’ four-leaf clover among approximately 10,000 of three-leaf clovers. The four heart-shaped leaves are said to represent _faith, hope, love and luck_. It’s so aesthetic and meaningful.” Baekhyun explained.

“Oh dear, you got up so early just to bake cookies for that little girl? You are so sweet.”

“Sometimes little things can cheer people up and keep them positive. I want you to give the cookies to the girl. If the result is negative, please wish her best _luck_ and remind her that she is well _loved_ by her family. Yet, if it is positive, please encourage her to keep her _faith_ and not to lose _hope_ , I trust she will recover soon.”

“My love, you are soooo adorable. You really are the best. I just can’t imagine, being 10 years into the relationship, I’m still loving you more and more each day.” Sehun looked at his boyfriend lovingly, touched by his kind words.

“Dear, me too. I love you.” Baekhyun gave Sehun a goodbye embrace. Sehun then left home for work with a really good mood, he was so glad that he was in love with the most lovable person in the world. 

“It’s negative. Her parents want to thank you, for the _luck and love_.” A few hours later, Baekhyun got a heart-warming message from Sehun. He looked outside the window, it was cloudless and the sun was shining brightly. _Oh, it seems the weather forecast is not accurate, it doesn’t look like it’s gonna rain tonight. Perhaps we should have dinner outside then._ Baekhyun thought.

✧  
They picked one of Baekhyun’s favourite Japanese restaurant. The street was quieter than usual. It felt like it was midnight while in fact it was just 8:30pm. The restaurant, which used to be completely filled with people especially young couples, was very empty. There were less than 10 customers dining inside. 

“Dear, what do you want for dinner?” Sehun asked after getting seated.

“I don’t know... all of them look delicious, I can’t choose.” Baekhyun was staring at the menu with a pout. He always had difficulty in picking food and Sehun knew it.

“We have been here over 100 times since we started dating, and you are still not able to choose a dish from their menu?” Sehun laughed at his boyfriend, at the same time he found Baekhyun extra cute when he was struggling with ordering food, just like a kid.

“I want _Zaru Udon!_ (cold udon served in a bamboo basket, with dipping sauce _Tsuyu_ )” Finally Baekhyun made up his mind and announced his lucky dish for the night.

“Huh? No. It is getting chilly at night, pick something hot.” Sehun raised his eyebrows and looked at his boyfriend with a dissatisfied expression.

“Whyyy? You asked me to choose and you are now forbidding me to order it...” Baekhyun glared at Sehun, pouting again.

“Alright, fine. I will order a _Zaru Udon_ and share with you if you go for a _Nabeyaki Udon_. That’s served in a hot-pot so you won’t feel cold. On top of that, you love _tempura shrimps_ , don’t you?” Baekhyun’s pout disappeared as soon as he heard _tempura shrimps_ and Sehun knew that he won - he just knew his cute boyfriend too well.

“Okay, but I want _Strawberry Ramune_! There’s no way that I will be drinking hot tea tonight!”

“Ahha so you are bargaining with me? Even little Sooyeonie is drinking hot tea obediently and you are now asking for _Ramune_?” Sehun couldn’t stop laughing at his childish lover.

“Yes, I am having _Ramune_ , not the common _Ramune, STRAWBERRY RAMUNE_.” The familiar pout reappeared after it was gone for less than one minute.

“Fine fine _fine_. I’ll order one for you. You know I can never stand you pouting with such innocent expression. I can literally grow a strawberry patch for you so you can make strawberry smoothie everyday... Dear, now stop pouting.” Baekhyun broke into a bright laughter after hearing Sehun’s confession (?).

They enjoyed the pleasant dinner and had a walk afterwards. Although the city was already covered in darkness, they were still enjoying the silent accompaniment of one another. They had been walking the same path, side by side, hand in hand, for 10 years. Still, when they stopped at the crossroad and looked into each other’s eyes while waiting for the green pedestrian signal, they could still see the same spark they had seen in their first date. Sehun still got butterflies in his stomach, and Baekhyun’s cheeks still flushed like roses. 

“Let’s go baby.” The sign turned green. Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s hand, leading him back to their cosy home.

✧  
_눈물보다 찬란히 빛나는 이 순간  
In this moment that shines brighter than tears  
너를 보내야 했던  
I had to let you go  
So baby don’t cry, cry  
내 사랑이 기억될 테니  
My love will be remembered_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Domestic Sebaek are here! I’m trying to write something more down-to-earth. This is so childish but I liked it, simple but so in love.


	3. Baby Don’t Cry 03.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read through the below disclaimers before you continue :)
> 
> * I did not make explicit reference to the outbreak except for a few extracts of news. If you wish, you can treat this as a COMPLETELY STAND-ALONE story.  
> * The story itself is purely imaginary, it does not reflect actual history and does not follow the actual time in which the events happened. For example, SARS outbreak in 2002/2003 did not severely impact Korea and there was no casualty at all. 38 medical staffs died, most of them were from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Again, no explicit reference was made.  
> * No confirmed cure for COVID-19 has been discovered yet and current known fatality rate for young adults aged 20-39 is about 0.2%. There has been no death case of medical staffs so far. For further details, please refer to official information.  
> * I am not in the medical field and I wrote this based on the news and my limited knowledge. My intention is just to raise public awareness and re-emphasize the fact that people with different cultural background look at this event differently. Some people tend to compare this with flu, thinking it is not a big deal, and mock others for being over-sensitive. Some are panicking and becoming more and more anxious about the worsening situation. Some just continue their chill and relaxing lives. In my opinion, the uncertainty of its seriousness, possibility of overloaded medical services and exponential scale of spreading are the most alarming and concerning parts. I repeat, there is no right or wrong perspective.  
> * Having said that, racism and discrimination triggered by and associated with this event are rather disturbing. Not all Asians travelling around or residing overseas are infected, and it is unfair to impose blind accusation. While I do agree that the origin should take up responsibility and be blamed, please bear in mind that not all Asians are unhygienic, and not all of us eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs.  
> * Lastly, don’t underestimate the severity, yet don’t panic and overreact. Respect others. Stay safe everyone.

✧  
_어두컴컴한 고통의 그늘 위  
On top of the dark shadow of pain  
이별의 문턱에 내가 무참히  
On the threshold of farewell  
넘어져도 그마저도  
Even if I take a brutal fall  
널 위해서라면 감당할 테니  
I can handle that if it were for you_

✧  
_“South Korea confirmed 256 more infected cases today, 231 of them were in Daegu and North Gyeongsang province, the national-wise total increased to 2,022... The government has raised the alert level to the highest level of 'grave' according to experts' recommendations...”_

Baekhyun was watching the news anxiously. More and more people were sent to hospital for testing, and he was worried about his Sehun. It was not the first time that Sehun was involved in community spread incident. They had a pretty bad influenza season a couple of years ago and Sehun had to stay in hospital days and nights due to severe understaff problem.

Being able to save people’s lives always motivated Sehun to work harder, he was so passionate about his profession. He could spend his whole rest day at home reading medical publications and only paused when he smelt the delicious food Baekhyun had prepared for him. Baekhyun usually just stayed home with Sehun during weekend, attempted to start reading a novel but always ended up staring lovingly at his perfect lover. Baekhyun’s love towards Sehun was beyond words, he was so proud of his intelligent and kind-hearted boyfriend. 

Baekhyun turned off the television and tried to cheer himself up. He made himself a strawberry smoothie and said to himself - _It’s going to be fine._

✧  
_“There is an increase of 594 confirmed cases today, and the national total raised to 2,931... With close to 3,000 of confirmed cases, over 70 countries have imposed travel restriction on South Korea...”_

Sehun rang the bell of the apartment and his best friend, Jongin, opened the door for him. They hadn’t seen each other for almost 3 months so they decided to grab some drinks together at home at Saturday night. 

“You look terrible, Hun.” Jongin filled the glass with whisky and passed it to Sehun.

“Not really, worse is yet to come.” Sehun replied with a bitter smile, gladly taking the alcohol from Jongin and finished it in one go.

“Overloaded again?”

“Yah, hundreds of patients are sent for testing everyday. On top of that, not having the virus doesn’t mean they don’t need to be treated, they are still patients.” Sehun sighed lightly, almost inaudible. He was so exhausted, he worked the entire day and hardly had time for lunch, or even a bio break.

“You said you’ve got something to talk to me, what’s that?” Jongin asked.

“I was chosen...”

“Chosen? For what?” Jongin asked and suddenly the living room was silent for 5 seconds, before Sehun opened his mouth and let out 3 words.

_“The dirty team.”_

“What do you mean?”

“I have to take care the infected patients in the isolated ward for 2 weeks. After that, there will be a washout period and I need to self-quarantine for another 2 weeks. The next rotation will be announced by then. I will be staying at the hospital dormitory throughout this rotation, which means I won’t be at home nor be able to see Baekhyun for a month... at least.”

“Oh my... God. Have you told him yet?”

“No, I am not prepared to tell him. That’s why I come to you first. I need to calm myself down. I can’t stand seeing him upset and hurt.”

“Hun, I don’t know what to say to help you feel better. Baekhyun is a understanding person, he will stand by you and will support you. Just talk to him once you are back. Remember to take good care of yourself. You drank my whisky today, it will be your treat next time.” Jongin gave his best friend a slight embrace and asked him to go home earlier as he may need a long chat with his boyfriend.

✧  
Baekhyun was watching a movie when Sehun arrived home. He was excited to see his boyfriend after another long and uneventful day. He ran towards Sehun and asked for a hug. Sehun stopped him and asked him to wait a bit. After bathing and changing into comfortable pyjamas, Sehun went into the bedroom and gave Baekhyun a tight hug. 

“I miss you.” Baekhyun pouted.

“I miss you too.” Sehun placed his hands on Baekhyun’s cheeks and kissed his forehead.

“Love, I have something to tell you.” Sehun held Baekhyun’s hand and guided him to sit on the bed.

Then Sehun started explaining, from what the medical superintendent said, how they planned the work schedule to who would be the first group of team members etc... Baekhyun was listening attentively and was processing his thoughts, his heart was pounding faster and faster, but he tried his best not to let his emotions show. He didn’t say a thing, even after Sehun finished explaining the situation.

“Baek?” Sehun wrapped both of his hands around Baekhyun’s.

“So... it’s gonna be at least a month, right?” Baekhyun seemed rather calm. He looked up and asked, although he already knew the answer to this question.

“Yes... actually my hours are quite regular and I will have time-off in between, but I can’t take any risk, especially when it comes to your health... Baek, I’m sorry.” Sehun said apologetically, he knew his boyfriend was upset, even he didn’t let it show.

“Why are you apologising? As I’ve said a thousand times, I respect your decision and will fully support you, no matter how difficult it will be, for both of us.” Baekhyun gave Sehun a reassuring smile.

“Promise me you will eat enough, you will rest properly, and if possible you will call me everyday.” He continued speaking.

“Yes, I promise you. _I love you._ ”

“Take good care of yourself, that will be _the best way_ to show me you love me.”

Sehun hugged Baekhyun and fell asleep quickly. Baekhyun tightened his hug and sobbed silently inside Sehun’s embrace. He had never been in such a dilemma before. Deep inside his heart, he knew Sehun picked doctor as profession because of what he went through years ago. Yet, when this was really happening, when his lover was to be risking his health and life saving others, Baekhyun wished Sehun could have been more selfish and have chosen an easier life. Baekhyun closed his eyes, trying to clear his thoughts.

_“Sehun-ah, you have to eat. Uncle said you locked yourself up for 3 days already.” Baekhyun placed his hand on Sehun’s shoulder gently. Sehun looked up and stared at Baekhyun with teary eyes. He was shivering._

_“Baek, I can’t. She’s gone. 1 week in the hospital, and suddenly she’s gone forever!!!” Tears started falling from Sehun’s beautiful eyes, which used to form crescents when he smiled._

_“Hun-ah, I’m so sorry for your loss. I know it must be a tough time for uncle and you. I don’t know what can I do to help, but always remember I am by your side, I am not going anywhere. Whenever you need me, ring me and I will be there for you. It is alright to want to stay alone and cry. It is fine to feel hopeless and be weak. Melancholy is not gonna fade in a day or two, memory is gonna stay in your mind for a long time, should it be happy or sad. Take your time, but don’t forget there is a person who is always willing to pull you up when you fall, lend you his shoulder if you feel blue, and walk the remaining path with you if you feel lonely. We will get through this together, my dear.” Baekhyun wiped the tears from Sehun’s eyes, pecked a gentle kiss on his cheek._

_“Hyung...”_

_“Eat, and have some rest. I will stay for the night.” Baekhyun put down the food Sehun’s dad had prepared and left Sehun’s bedroom. Before the door was closed, he heard Sehun’s cry. Tears also started to fall from Baekhyun’s eyes, it broke his heart to see his Dongsaeng getting through all this when he was only 17. Baekhyun swore to himself, he would stay besides Sehun and support him until he fully recovers, no matter how long it will take._

“Sehunie.. it’s alright... it’ll be fine...” Baekhyun murmured in his dream, not realising he was clenching his fists unconsciously.

_It’s going to be fine._

✧  
_대신 나를 줄게  
Instead, I will give myself to you  
비록 날 모르는 너에게  
Who doesn’t even know me  
Don’t cry 뜨거운 눈물보단  
Don’t cry – instead of hot tears  
차디찬 웃음을 보여 줘 Baby  
Show me cold laughter baby_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I read some posts from relatives of the doctors being picked to treat the patients before writing, and I could really feel them - the struggle and worry. No matter where are you from, and where are you now, please remember taking good care of yourself is indeed the best way to show your beloved ones you love them. Have a nice week to you all.


	4. Baby Don’t Cry 04.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read through the below disclaimers before you continue :)
> 
>  *** Topic of racism mentioned in this chapter***  
>    
> * I did not make explicit reference to the outbreak except for a few extracts of news. If you wish, you can treat this as a COMPLETELY STAND-ALONE story.  
> * The story itself is purely imaginary, it does not reflect actual history and does not follow the actual time in which the events happened. For example, SARS outbreak in 2002/2003 did not severely impact Korea and there was no casualty at all. 38 medical staffs died, most of them were from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Again, no explicit reference was made.  
> * No confirmed cure for COVID-19 has been discovered yet and current known fatality rate for young adults aged 20-39 is about 0.2%. There has been no death case of medical staffs so far. For further details, please refer to official information.  
> * I am not in the medical field and I wrote this based on the news and my limited knowledge. My intention is just to raise public awareness and re-emphasize the fact that people with different cultural background look at this event differently. Some people tend to compare this with flu, thinking it is not a big deal, and mock others for being over-sensitive. Some are panicking and becoming more and more anxious about the worsening situation. Some just continue their chill and relaxing lives. In my opinion, the uncertainty of its seriousness, possibility of overloaded medical services and exponential scale of spreading are the most alarming and concerning parts. I repeat, there is no right or wrong perspective.  
> * Having said that, racism and discrimination triggered by and associated with this event are rather disturbing. Not all Asians travelling around or residing overseas are infected, and it is unfair to impose blind accusation. While I do agree that the origin should take up responsibility and be blamed, please bear in mind that not all Asians are unhygienic, and not all of us eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs.  
> * Lastly, don’t underestimate the severity, yet don’t panic and overreact. Respect others. Stay safe everyone.

✧  
_Say no more, no more  
제발 망설이지는 말아 줘  
Please don’t hesitate  
물거품이 될 그 찰나  
Just when I’m about to become like foam_

✧  
It was the 5th day that Baekhyun was sleeping alone.

To be honest, Baekhyun was barely sleeping these days. It became a routine - he woke up, forced himself to eat some breakfast and made a coffee, read, did some chores, spent the afternoon trying to finish some translation work from Jongdae, forced himself to swallow a light dinner, talked to Sehun, bathed and went to bed. Baekhyun was living, but at the same time he felt so lifeless all the time, except for that 1 short hour talking to Sehun.

Sehun was trying to act calm, but Baekhyun could see the exhaustion in his eyes. The working hours in the ward were rather regular, but it didn’t mean that life was easier. Everybody was under tremendous stress - doctors needed to treat patients properly and act fast in providing instructions, nurses needed to do everything effectively and not to waste any resources. Spending ten hours in the ward was like running a marathon race, it always ended with sweat and gasp. The team was exhausted, both physically and mentally, and it was just the first week. 

After returning to his dormitory and taking a hot bath, the first thing Sehun did was always to call his beloved boyfriend. They agreed to talk not more than 1 hour per day, in order to let Sehun have enough rest. That was way too short for both of them, but no matter how hard Sehun protested against this idea, Baekhyun refused to prolong the call, although he was more than willing to listen to his lover’s soothing voice for another hour or so. 

A few minutes after Baekhyun finished his call with Sehun, his phone rang again.

“Hello, Baek, it’s me, Junmyeon.” It was Junmyeon calling, a friend that Baekhyun met in university. Junmyeon and his wife Irene moved to Europe the year after they graduated and have settled down there since then.

“Oh hello _Hyung!_ We haven’t spoken for a while. How are two of you doing?” Baekhyun was excited that Junmyeon was calling, he didn’t have time nor mood to check on him lately.

“It’s... _complicated_ , but I guess we are still alright.” Junmyeon sounded quite hesitant.

“ _Hyung_ , did something happen? You can always talk to me.” Junmyeon seldom sounded so uncertain, he was always a confident person. Baekhyun was sure something went wrong with him and Irene.

“I just feel, uneasy, Baek. Irene and I have been living here for 8 years. We thought we have assimilated into the host society, both socially and culturally. We have maintained good relationship with our neighbours. We have tried our best to live our lives like the locals. We worked so hard to integrate ourselves. However, everything changed and became worse lately, since the outbreak of the virus. The local residents here have been throwing shade on Asians in general, regardless of race. A bit of trash talk is still acceptable, we can just laugh about and ignore it, but people are overdoing it now. They look at us as if we are virus ourselves, as if our presence alone will contaminate the air and make them sick. They cover their mouth when they see us in metro, others glare at us when we are eating in the same restaurant, some even refuse to sell us meat when we go to the market. I just don’t understand why they can judge people like this.” Junmyeon spoke rather monotonously, but he was obviously surpressing his anger.

“The situation must be difficult for both of you, _Hyung_. I am not trying to find excuses for them, but they did not experience what happened one and a half decade ago, they must be very anxious and startled now. I still remember vividly how frightened I was that time. Unfortunately history is repeating itself now.” Baekhyun understood why Junmyeon was feeling bad, it was indeed a tough time for everyone.

“Yah I know. Not all of them are like this, I have to say many of our neighbours are still friendly and reasonable. They even stopped by and asked if our families are doing alright at home. I’m grateful for their kindness too. However, those actions really infuriate and frustrate me. We are just normal people, we don’t eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs. Everyone of us has equal chance to get infected, it has absolutely no correlation with our race, and we haven’t even been back to Asia for 2 years! You know, Baek, it is just discouraging to admit the fact that, no matter how hard we work and contribute to this society, no matter how much effort we put in order to be fluent in their language, no matter how many years we have spent in this country, at the end of the day, there is still an invisible barrier between them and us, and we are still considered outcasts of this country.” Junmyeon let out a sigh.

“If you don’t feel at ease there, will you consider moving back? Your parents and Irene’s parents must be glad about that.”

“We are considering it recently... Our parents are now in their late sixties and we are worried about their health. Being so far away in such a critical moment make us guilty, especially when they belong to the high risk group. Irene can hardly sleep at night due to trepidation. We talk to them almost everyday just to ensure their safety, still it will be much better if we can stay closer to them. Well actually, we just... miss them, miss our family, and our _home_.”

“Then take your time and think about it. You are always a good decision maker, you will know what to do. _Hyung_ , I trust you.” Baekhyun said encouragingly.

“Alright, enough talking about us, what about you and Sehun?”

“Well...” Baekhyun started describing the general situation in Korea and what had happened to Sehun lately. He felt much relieved after sharing all the negative thoughts, fear and vexation with Junmyeon. They chatted for almost 2 hours and it was nearly 2am when they finished their conversation. 

It was the first night in a while that Baekhyun was finally able to have an undisturbed sleep and a peaceful dream. 

✧  
It was the 13th day that Baekhyun had not touched Sehun’s face.

Baekhyun was picking up the pace of his normal life, although he never really felt life was normal without Sehun by his side. He was still doing translation work for Jongdae, and he spent time checking on his family and friends regularly. Taking the initiative to open up and be honest to his feelings helped Baekhyun to be less unsettled. At least, he started making coffee and experimenting with new recipes again! The apartment was full of pleasant scent of freshly brewed coffee. Baekhyun tried out various combinations and after several failure attempt, he discovered a satisfying flavour. He quickly grabbed a pen and jotted down the ingredients. 

At 9pm sharp, Baekhyun got ready for the most anticipating time of the day - video call with Sehun. He was extra excited this day because it was the second last day of Sehun’s rotation, meaning Sehun would soon leave the isolation ward and started self-quarantine for 2 weeks.

“Hey, dear.” Sehun waved his hand and smiled when he saw Baekhyun’s face appearing on the screen.

“Hey, Sehunie! Did you have a good sleep yesterday?” Baekhyun was aware that Sehun looked more lively today.

“Yes I did. Finally it’s the second last day. I’m glad that I can have a bit of rest after tomorrow.”

“How was your day, dear?”

“I treated a few new-coming patients today, most of them are elderly in their sixties and seventies. One of them, Mrs Kim, got rather severe symptoms. She left me with a strong impression because of her curly bronze red hair. She has a high fever and coughs a lot. We could see that she is in pain that’s why we prioritise her case. As you know, no vaccination or medicines specifically for this virus have been discovered as of now, so what we can do is really to handle each patient on a case by case basis. Luckily Mrs Kim doesn’t have underlying conditions so her situation is still manageable. Our team is closely monitoring her condition and hopefully it will stabilise soon. So far the recovery rate of patients without underlying conditions has been steady so we are optimistic about this case. On the other hand, unfortunately we have 2 patients passed away today, both of them belong to the high risk group. They suffered because other health issues and these issues made treatment more complicated... It really hurt seeing them suffer but not being able to help much... It reminds me of... _omma_.” Sehun paused after mentioning his mother, looking upset.

“Sehun-ah, please don’t overthink and stress yourself. You and your team have done the best you can. Yes, there are casualties everyday - not just medical professionals and the deceased’s family, general public also feel miserable when watching the news and reading the numbers. Having said that, you are not the one to be blamed. Imagine without you and all medical professionals’ effort, the situation will be far worse. With the limited resources and time, you have already done a marvellous job. Your mom must be so proud of you. Don’t be too harsh to yourself, dear.” Baekhyun said comfortingly.

“I know it is inevitable some time and there’s nothing I can do. I just always feel like I could have done better. Maybe you’re right, I shouldn’t put too much pressure on myself. Baby, give me some positive vibes. I need you now, _my energy booster_.”  
“Well.. I made a new coffee recipe today! It’s like a cold brewed coffee with whipped cream topping and a sprinkle of sea salt.” Baekhyun announced happily.

“So, a creamy and salty coffee?”

“Yah sort of. I used _pink Himalayan sea salt_ , it actually was not _that_ salty and it enhanced the taste of the coffee. The combined flavour reminds me of... _tears_ that one shed when he or she lost something or someone really precious and important.”

“I thought you’re supposed to be telling me positive stuffs?”

“Sorry dear, leaving the emotion aside, discovering a new flavour itself is a positive thing, isn’t it?”

“You’re right. Congratulations on getting a new member to _Baekkie’s universe special beverage_. Have you got a name for it already?”

“Yep, it’s called _Mermaid’s Tears_ , 인어의 눈물.” Baekhyun was pleased with the name he came up with.

“That’s a wonderful name. You need to let me try the taste of _Mermaid’s Tears_ once I get home. It’s getting late now, we’ll talk again tomorrow okay? Good night, love.”

“Good night, I love you.” Baekhyun blew a kiss to the screen and waved Goodbye to Sehun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have more time recently so I’m gonna speed up and complete this sooner (so I can start working on some.. more interesting stuffs). The situations described by Junmyeon are all real life examples that some of my acquaintances experienced during the last couple of months - just to rant a bit about it but at the end of the day, that’s just a very small group of people. I’m quite fortunate that people around me are all very kind and friendly. Inclusiveness and sense of belonging is another topic though - but let’s leave this for now. Take care everyone!


	5. Baby Don’t Cry 05.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read through the below disclaimers before you continue :)
> 
> * I did not make explicit reference to the outbreak except for a few extracts of news. If you wish, you can treat this as a COMPLETELY STAND-ALONE story.  
> * The story itself is purely imaginary, it does not reflect actual history and does not follow the actual time in which the events happened. For example, SARS outbreak in 2002/2003 did not severely impact Korea and there was no casualty at all. 38 medical staffs died, most of them were from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Again, no explicit reference was made.  
> * No confirmed cure for COVID-19 has been discovered yet and current known fatality rate for young adults aged 20-39 is about 0.2%. There has been no death case of medical staffs so far. For further details, please refer to official information.  
> * I am not in the medical field and I wrote this based on the news and my limited knowledge. My intention is just to raise public awareness and re-emphasize the fact that people with different cultural background look at this event differently. Some people tend to compare this with flu, thinking it is not a big deal, and mock others for being over-sensitive. Some are panicking and becoming more and more anxious about the worsening situation. Some just continue their chill and relaxing lives. In my opinion, the uncertainty of its seriousness, possibility of overloaded medical services and exponential scale of spreading are the most alarming and concerning parts. I repeat, there is no right or wrong perspective.  
> * Having said that, racism and discrimination triggered by and associated with this event are rather disturbing. Not all Asians travelling around or residing overseas are infected, and it is unfair to impose blind accusation. While I do agree that the origin should take up responsibility and be blamed, please bear in mind that not all Asians are unhygienic, and not all of us eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs.  
> * Lastly, don’t underestimate the severity, yet don’t panic and overreact. Respect others. Stay safe everyone.

✧  
_Say no more, no more  
눈부신 사람으로 남을 수 있게  
So that I can remain as a dazzling person  
차라리 그 칼로 날 태워 줘  
Just burn me with that knife_

✧  
It was the 18th day that Baekhyun had not hugged his lover.

Sehun was on his wash out period in the dormitory. He spent his day preparing detailed reports and statistics about the patients’ situation. The number here in Seoul was still under control, but the status in Daegu and North Gyeongsang province was far more alarming. He had a chat with Yixing about the latest development of the concerned area, both started to worry that the local hospitals there would not have sufficient manpower to provide the necessary medical care. They were in regular contact with the team in Daegu to exchange information and findings, hoping to give them a hand whenever they needed. Sehun saved the file and turned off his monitor. _It’s almost there._ 10 days later, he would be returning to his lovely home, Baekhyun would be waiting for him at the front door, giving him a passionate hug upon his arrival. _It’s almost there._

Baekhyun was flipping over a photo album he found while tidying up their storage room. There were photos of Sehun and him during high school time. Photos of them wearing school uniform, studying together (and ended up in taking a nap) in library, hanging out with other classmates in coffee shop after school, visiting museum that they were never interested in just for their holiday homework... Baekhyun flipped through the pages, smiling while remembering all the years of youth they spent together. One particular photo caught his attention - it wasn’t a photo of them, but a bunch of flowers.

_It was a bunch of Dark Crimson Roses._

_The Dark Crimson Rose got two meanings, it could mean sadness, mourning and death, it could also mean rebirth and love. Baekhyun remembered it was the flower Sehun bought for his mother. It was a humid afternoon with light showers, typical weather during Spring time. It was the anniversary of Sehun’s mother’s death. It took Sehun an entire year to pull himself together and started resuming his life. Physical wounds, despite it may left scars afterwards, one could still tell when they completely recovered. On the other hand, psychological trauma, which was invisible, was far more complex. It could take years or even a life time to heal._

_Baekhyun, as promised, stayed with Sehun whenever he needed. Sometimes it was a mid-night call when Sehun suffered from insomnia, sometimes it was series of supportive messages to help Sehun cope with his negative thoughts, sometimes it was just a cup of bubble tea and silly random chat after school. During the first few months after his mom passed away, Sehun was as lifeless as a corpse. His father was so worried and was considering bringing him to a psychologist, but Sehun refused to go. With Baekhyun’s constant effort and affection, Sehun’s eyes gradually turned lively and the world no longer appeared black and white. It took Sehun half a year to finally accept the fact that his mother was gone, it then took him another half a year to re-establish his life and routine. He started catching up with his friends and opening up about himself. He still often thought about his mother, but the flashback no longer stopped his brain from functioning. He learnt to let memory and sadness co-exist with his new beginning and hope. Sehun knew that living his life well would be the best way to repay his mother, so he made up his mind - he decided to study hard and enter into the medical school. Other than that, he also had one important thing to do._

_“Baek, it is the anniversary of my mom’s death this Saturday, would you go and visit her with me?” Sehun asked._

_“Sehunie, are you sure you are ready now?” Baekhyun was slightly surprised with this suggestion._

_“Yes, it has been a year, I think I am ready. Most importantly, I have you by my side.” Sehun took Baekhyun’s hand, pecked a gentle kiss on the dorsal side of his hand._

_“Baek, I don’t know how should I thank you. You literally brought me back to life. You are one of the most important person in my life, you are part of my family.”_

_“Sehunie, you don’t have to thank me. I promised you I will be walking this path with you together, I will never abandon you. Now let’s go and buy some flowers for your mother.”_

__

_“Omma, sorry for being late. I miss you so much, I have lots to tell you.” Sehun put the Dark Crimson Roses down and started telling his mother everything happened this year. Baekhyun stood and looked at Sehun from afar, wanting to give him some personal space to talk to his mother. He was really glad that his best friend was finally back. He stared at his hand where Sehun had kissed before, he felt something different when Sehun’s lips touched his hand. He still wasn’t sure if it was what he thought about, but he decided not to bother about it for the time being, they had a lot of time to figure this out._

✧  
It was the 27th day that Baekhyun had not kissed those perfect lips of Sehun’s.

It was the second last day that Sehun was staying in the dormitory. He started organising his files and packing his personal belongings. This month had truly been an unforgettable experience in his career. He was grateful to have an united team who supported each other when they were in dire straits. On the other hand, his long-waited home-returning moment was finally here. Sehun missed his lover so much. After eating the simple and (almost) tasteless meals from hospital for a month, he missed the delicious food that Baekhyun prepared for him every day - _Bulgogi_ (불고기, Korean BBQ beef), _Dolsot-Bibimbap_ (돌솥비빔밥, mixed rice with beef and vegetables served in a hot stone bowl) and _Sundubu-jjigae_ (순두부찌개, spicy soft tofu stew) and more. He couldn’t wait till he could finally get home and enjoy a warm and relaxing dinner with his lover.

While Sehun was missing the home-made dinner, Baekhyun just finished making _Kimchi Bokkeumbap_ (김치 볶음밥, Kimchi fried rice). Jongdae joined him for dinner since they hadn’t met each other for a while. They were glad that both were doing fine, despite the hardship of being separated from the loved ones.

“Dae, you should eat more. Since you are such a terrible cook, I bet you must have been eating _ramen_ all the time...” Baekhyun passed a bowl of fried rice to Jongdae. He always liked mocking about Jongdae’s cooking skill (or rather - kitchen burning skill).

“Yaaaa!! My cooking is fine and I _know_ how to cook dishes other than _ramen_!! Wait, this is delicious... I need the recipe.” Jongdae started eating and his absolutely loved the _kimchi fried rice_ Baekhyun prepared.

“Of course. Thanks for joining so that I don’t have to eat alone.”

“It’s good to go out for some fresh air. I’ve been working from home almost the entire month. I hardly ever go out apart from doing my weekly grocery shopping. I know this is critical time and the measure is essential, I just feel bored, and lonely. The happiest moment of each day is the time when my phone rings - when my wife and Sooyeon are calling. I miss them so much.”

“I completely understand coz I’m in exactly the same situation. I am waiting for Sehun’s call every night. I started to get worried if he didn’t call on time. One day he was occupied with work and ended up calling me 45 minutes late. My hands were trembling when I picked up the call. You know, I just couldn’t stop... overthinking.”

“It must be hard for you, Baek, but you have done really well. I also want to thank you for helping me with the translation work these weeks. I was really shocked when two colleagues called on the same day to request for emergency leave. Fortunately, both of them can return to work soon. I don’t know how to survive if you didn’t give me a hand. You really saved my life.”

“I didn’t do it just for you, Dae. I’m also doing it for myself. Having something meaningful and concrete to work on helps distracting myself. I can’t imagine how my life would be if I am staying at home with nothing to do. I will end up overthinking all the time and push myself into a blind alley.”

“And now you can see the light at the end of the tunnel, Sehun will be back tomorrow so you don’t have to worry anymore. If the situation allows, I’m also planning to pay my family a visit. I never realised how much they mean to me until we have been separated for such a long time, guess I focused too much on work before. Reality is cruel, but it did teach each of us something.”

“You’re right, Dae. When you visit your family, please help me to send some books to Sooyeonie. She must be bored.”

They chatted for another half an hour before calling an end to their catch up. Baekhyun did all clean up and went to bed with an anticipating mind. He hoped the clock would run faster so he could see his lover _soon_.

✧  
The door bell rang.  
Baekhyun almost jumped from the couch.  
He felt like he had been waiting his whole life for this moment.

_“My love, I’m back.”_


	6. Baby Don’t Cry 06.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read through the below disclaimers before you continue :)
> 
> * I did not make explicit reference to the outbreak except for a few extracts of news. If you wish, you can treat this as a COMPLETELY STAND-ALONE story.  
> * The story itself is purely imaginary, it does not reflect actual history and does not follow the actual time in which the events happened. For example, SARS outbreak in 2002/2003 did not severely impact Korea and there was no casualty at all. 38 medical staffs died, most of them were from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Again, no explicit reference was made.  
> * No confirmed cure for COVID-19 has been discovered yet and current known fatality rate for young adults aged 20-39 is about 0.2%. There has been no death case of medical staffs so far. For further details, please refer to official information.  
> * I am not in the medical field and I wrote this based on the news and my limited knowledge. My intention is just to raise public awareness and re-emphasize the fact that people with different cultural background look at this event differently. Some people tend to compare this with flu, thinking it is not a big deal, and mock others for being over-sensitive. Some are panicking and becoming more and more anxious about the worsening situation. Some just continue their chill and relaxing lives. In my opinion, the uncertainty of its seriousness, possibility of overloaded medical services and exponential scale of spreading are the most alarming and concerning parts. I repeat, there is no right or wrong perspective.  
> * Having said that, racism and discrimination triggered by and associated with this event are rather disturbing. Not all Asians travelling around or residing overseas are infected, and it is unfair to impose blind accusation. While I do agree that the origin should take up responsibility and be blamed, please bear in mind that not all Asians are unhygienic, and not all of us eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs.  
> * Lastly, don’t underestimate the severity, yet don’t panic and overreact. Respect others. Stay safe everyone.

✧  
_니 눈 속에 가득 차오르는 달빛  
The moonlight fills your eyes  
소리 없이 고통 속에 흘러넘치는 이 밤  
This night passes silently in pain_

✧  
The lovebirds spent the entire weekend watching Netflix, cuddling on the couch, stealing kisses here and there. Sehun wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s waist, holding him tightly. He peppered kisses all over Baekhyun’s face, from forehead to his mochi cheeks, from nose to the mole on his temple. His lips traced down without leaving Baekhyun’s face, pressing a soft yet passionate kiss against Baekhyun’s pink lips. They kept kissing for a while, after that their lips parted slightly. They stared into each others’ eyes, the same spark could be seen. They didn’t need words to tell how much they were in love with one another. Sehun leaned in and closed the distance between the two again, this time he was more eager. He started licking Baekhyun’s lips, teeth, then found its way to Baekhyun’s tongue. Their tongues touched in such a sensual way that made them both hot. Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist and pinned him down onto the couch, continued their open-mouthed kiss.

“Baby, your lips are so soft, I can’t stop kissing them.” Sehun said while catching his breath, one hand grabbing Baekhyun’s wrist and the other slipping inside Baekhyun’s pyjamas to caress his smooth skin.

“Umm.. then don’t stop kissing them. You’re such an amazing kisser.” Baekhyun’s cheeks flushed. He tilted his head up slightly, requesting Sehun to kiss him again.

Sehun loosened his grip on Baekhyun’s wrist and started another passionate kiss. Now Sehun had both hands inside Baekhyun’s pyjamas stroking up and down, Baekhyun wrapped his hands around Sehun’s nape and started letting out quiet whimper.

“Let’s go to the bedroom, baby. I want you so badly.” Sehun placed one last kiss on Baekhyun’s lips before carrying him back into the bedroom.

✧  
Sehun returned to the hospital the following Monday. The team had an urgent meeting with the medical superintendent in the morning. After an hour of discussion, Sehun left the meeting room together with Yixing. He knitted his eyebrows and sighed.

“Sehun, are you sure it is a good decision?” Yixing asked, concerned about his friend.

“I honestly don’t know. I feel like it is the right thing to do at this moment, but at the same time I feel so... you know... _guilty_. It is like if I take up the responsibility towards the society I am ignoring my responsibility at home... and I struggle to find an equilibrium, not sure if there is one at all.”

“So you’re gonna talk to him about it tonight?”

“Yah... I’ve already said yes to the superintendent, it left me with no alternatives anyway.”

“Let me know if you need help. We are doing this together, you are not alone.”

“Thanks bro, I know.” 

✧  
They were having dinner at home. Baekhyun had prepared _spicy garlic shrimp spaghetti_ for the night, they were eating and chatting about random stuffs. When they were almost done with the dinner, Sehun swallowed half a glass of water before speaking.

“Love, I have something to tell you.” Sehun spoke with a serious expression.

“No...” Baekhyun immediately responded. “Not again Sehunie...” His hands that were still holding the utensils started to tremble.

“I... I am sorry, dear.” He could only apologise when he saw his lover’s shocked and heart-broken expression. “But I have to, they need us.”

_What about me.. I need you too Sehun-ah._ Baekhyun’s face instantly turned pale. He bit his lips so hard to stop himself from weeping aloud. Yet, he swallowed and left this sentence unsaid. Tears dropped from his eyes like waterfall. He looked at Sehun, without a word.

“You’re not gonna stay in Seoul this time, am I right?” A few moments later, Baekhyun murmured faintly.

“Yes, we are going to the Daegu region. They are in need of more doctors.”

“I knew it. Your face changed... when you watched the news and heard about the drastic increase in number yesterday. I wished I was wrong... but I know... it will come, sooner or later.” Baekhyun looked more fragile than ever, his voice was so shaky that he had to pause several times before finishing the sentence.

“I know you need to go, I know you have agreed to it, I know there is nothing I can do to stop you, and I know I am crying my selfish tears out for absolutely nothing but I just couldn’t control myself...” Baekhyun almost collapsed and fell from the chair. Sehun quickly grabbed his waist and pulled him into a tight embrace.

“It’s my fault. I... I love you so much. The least thing I want to see is you crying like this because of me... Dear, like I said before, I will take good care of myself and won’t let you worry, okay?” Sehun kissed Baekhyun’s forehead and wiped the tears away from his cheeks.

“Promise.”

“Yes I promise.” Sehun then lowered his head and kissed his lover, he could taste, the flavour of the _mermaid’s tears_ in the kiss.

✧  
It was like a repetition of the previous month, except that Sehun was now further away, except that Sehun was busier and couldn’t call regularly. Baekhyun felt so hollow from the inside, he knew he shouldn’t be like that, but he just couldn’t stop himself from getting more and more depressed. He tried so hard to pull himself together the last month, just to spend one weekend with his lover before he was gone again. He stopped watching news because he couldn’t stop his sad tears from falling whenever he heard the daily news update. 

It was early Spring time, yet Baekhyun felt like his body and soul were frozen and left in the snowy winter, cold and lifeless. He opened the refrigerator and took out a box of strawberries. he put one inside his mouth, chewing it slowly. _Why does it taste so sour?_ He tried another one, the taste was still the same. _They look so red, so delicious, why aren’t they sweet at all?_ He put the strawberries inside his mouth one by one, until there was no space left in his tiny mouth. His mouth was full, but his heart was still empty. His eyesight blurred within seconds, and he broke into another long, silent, hopeless cry. 

✧  
After being urged by his Hyung, Junmyeon and Jongdae, Baekhyun decided to go out for a walk. He wandered aimlessly on the street, finally arriving at Seoul Forest in _Seongdong-gu_. It was where Sehun confessed to him years ago. They were already very close and had obvious feelings towards one another when they were in university. Sehun brought him to Seoul Forest one day, asked him to collect the fallen maple leaves, and made a huge heart shape with the leaves together. He then took Baekhyun’s hand and asked if he would be his boyfriend. Baekhyun smiled and said yes. Since then, they never let go of one another’s hand. 

Contrast to that time, it was now Spring and the park was painted in lively green. Baekhyun held a leaf on his hand, tracing its veins. He wondered what would happen in a couple of months’ time. _When the maple leaves start to fall and the entire forest turn golden and reddish brown again, will Sehunie and I come here to watch the maple leaves again? We haven’t been here for a few years already... Yes, we should definitely come here in Autumn._

A sudden gust of wind blew away the leaf from Baekhyun’s hand, and his mobile rang.

“Baek... Sehun just fainted in the hospital, he has a high temperature...” It was Yixing calling. Baekhyun didn’t know what else did Yixing say, he collapsed onto the floor, hands trembling. 

He felt like he was about to suffocate.  
He felt like his world has stopped revolving.  
He felt like there was not gonna be a tomorrow.

_Sehun-ah.  
What did you promise me.  
Don’t you remember?_

✧  
What can you do in 2 weeks’ time?

_Baby don’t cry tonight  
어둠이 걷히고 나면  
After the darkness passes  
_

2 weeks is enough for completing the remaining translation work for Jongdae.  
2 weeks is not enough for finishing the boring book Sehun bought him. 

_Baby don’t cry tonight  
없었던 일이 될 거야  
None of this will have happened  
_

2 weeks is enough for a romantic retreat at a tropical island.  
2 weeks is not enough for visiting all places they marked on their to-go list. 

_물거품이 되는 것은 니가 아니야  
It’s not you who will  
끝내 몰라야 했던  
Become short-lived  
_

2 weeks is enough for Baekhyun to experience almost all stages of live.  
2 weeks is not enough for him to calm himself from this roller coaster of emotions. 

_So baby don’t cry cry  
내 사랑이 널 지킬 테니  
Because my love will protect you_

Baekhyun stood in front of a gravestone, holding a bunch of _Blue Irises_.  
_It was not enough, and it will never, ever be._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hate myself so much for making Baek cry while he was eating strawberries lol  
> This turned out to be longer than I expected, but next one will be the epilogue.


	7. Baby Don’t Cry 07.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please read through the below disclaimers before you continue :)
> 
> * I did not make explicit reference to the outbreak except for a few extracts of news. If you wish, you can treat this as a COMPLETELY STAND-ALONE story.  
> * The story itself is purely imaginary, it does not reflect actual history and does not follow the actual time in which the events happened. For example, SARS outbreak in 2002/2003 did not severely impact Korea and there was no casualty at all. 38 medical staffs died, most of them were from China, Taiwan and Hong Kong. Again, no explicit reference was made.  
> * No confirmed cure for COVID-19 has been discovered yet and current known fatality rate for young adults aged 20-39 is about 0.2%. There has been no death case of medical staffs so far. For further details, please refer to official information.  
> * I am not in the medical field and I wrote this based on the news and my limited knowledge. My intention is just to raise public awareness and re-emphasize the fact that people with different cultural background look at this event differently. Some people tend to compare this with flu, thinking it is not a big deal, and mock others for being over-sensitive. Some are panicking and becoming more and more anxious about the worsening situation. Some just continue their chill and relaxing lives. In my opinion, the uncertainty of its seriousness, possibility of overloaded medical services and exponential scale of spreading are the most alarming and concerning parts. I repeat, there is no right or wrong perspective.  
> * Having said that, racism and discrimination triggered by and associated with this event are rather disturbing. Not all Asians travelling around or residing overseas are infected, and it is unfair to impose blind accusation. While I do agree that the origin should take up responsibility and be blamed, please bear in mind that not all Asians are unhygienic, and not all of us eat wild animals like bats, pangolins or dogs.  
> * Lastly, don’t underestimate the severity, yet don’t panic and overreact. Respect others. Stay safe everyone.

✧  
_이른 햇살이 녹아내린다  
The early sunlight melts down  
너를 닮은 눈부심이 내린다  
The brightness that resembles you falls down  
길을 잃은 내 눈은 이제야 Cry cry cry  
My eyes that were once lost finally cry cry cry_

✧  
Baekhyun stood in front of a gravestone, holding a bunch of Blue Irises.  
_It was not enough, and it will never, ever be._

“ _Sehun omma_ , it’s been another long year. I’m sorry that I’m here alone today. Sehunie is not feeling well so he is staying in the hospital right now. Too many things happened recently, everyone has been on edge. Sehunie and I, and most of the citizens as well, have had countless sleepless nights. It has been the toughest time for us. We are so used to our routine and peaceful life and once there is any disturbance, we feel unsettled and panic easily. Many hearts were broken, many lives were lost, many tears were shed. There are people waking up in the mornings, realising the ones who used to sleep besides them, are now gone forever. This incident taught us a lesson about the fragility of mankind. We learnt the hard way not to underestimate any potential threats to our health and not to take everything for granted.

To be honest I have been struggling the whole time since Sehunie started receiving patients. I well understand it is his duty, yet I was so so worried when he was away from home. Every day was an endless torture. I could barely eat or focus on anything, even breathing seemed to be a challenge. I realised how important he is to me and how empty I am without him. I almost suffered from heart attack when our friend called and told me Sehunie had a fever and fainted in the hospital. I felt like my world was collapsing. I only relieved slightly when the doctor ensured that Sehunie was sick due to overwork and burn-out. We used to wish each other happiness and health on birthdays, now we truly understand that staying healthy alone is indeed the greatest blessing.

_Sehun omma_ , I sincerely thank you, again and again, for raising Sehun so well. He has been so kind-hearted, gentle and selfless. I am not sure if I would have his determination and devotion if I was him. He remains positive even during the most distressing time. He deserves all the love and admiration. I am fortunate enough to be loved by him, and I promise I will spend my life, loving him back. I feel like time is never enough for us - in a blink of the eye it has been over 15 years, in another blink of the eye it will be our forever. We still have a long way to go, but I believe everything will be fine again eventually. 

_We’ve bought Blue Irises for you, they symbolise hope and faith. Please continue to watch and guard us from afar, and be proud of your amazing son. We both love you._ ”

✧  
\- A couple of months later -

The situation had finally been under control. People were busy resuming their normal lives. The main streets became packed once again. Adults rushed here and there for meetings, students gathered in groups after school, young couples held hands and went on an afternoon date. The sky was blazing hot, the pitiless sun was shining brightly to remind people Summer had come.

Baekhyun was busy at his cafeteria. He terminated the lease of the old _Cafe Universe_ and rented another place next to the state hospital. He would like to provide hot and fresh beverages to visitors of the hospital. He put a few photos of Sehun and him right next to the cashier, and he couldn’t stop himself from smiling whenever he saw the photos - their first date at amusement park, their failed attempt in baking a cake, their wonderful vacation in Australia etc... They already had countless precious memory together, but they were ready to add more to their collection.

“Hi, would you like to order now?” The coffee shop was rather empty in the morning. Baekhyun approached a customer, who appeared to be in his early-thirties. He was accompanied by a middle-aged couple, they sat at the table next to the cashier. The lady had curly bronze red hair that stood out.

“What do you recommend? I saw there are special menu.” The guy asked curiously.

“Oh.. that’s right! Here are the two special coffees we are offering, as celebration of a new beginning, for us, for our city, basically for everyone. _Mermaid’s Tears_ , 인어의 눈물, is a cold brewed coffee with whipped cream topping and a sprinkle of pink Himalayan sea salt. And this one is _Angel’s Smile_ , 천사의 미소, hot mocha with Lindt white chocolate chips.”

“They got nice names, seems like there is a story behind? By the way, my name is Minseok.” Minseok smiled gently.

“Hi Minseok, I’m Baekhyun, owner of this cafeteria. Yes, there is indeed a story behind these two names. It’s like... _lost and found_ , the taste of _tears and smile, sorrow and joy_. I went through lots of ups and downs in the previous months. I once thought I would lose the one I love the most, I was so depressed that time and I was just crying days and nights - and surviving. Eventually when he returned home safe and sound, I was relieved and overwhelmed with joy. When I saw his smile again after months of despair, I felt like it was the smile of an angel and we were really in heaven. That’s where the _Angel’s Smile_ came from. I realised that moment, as long as we stay together, I am content and I have nothing more to ask for.”

“My dear, Doctor Oh is your lover?” The lady with bronze red hair pointed at the photos and asked.

“Yah... right, Sehun is my lover. Do you know him?” Baekhyun smiled timidly, little bit surprised that the lady knew who his lover was.

“He is truly an angel. I am a recovered patient and Doctor Oh took care of me a few months ago. He was so professional and calm. I was in pain so I could hardly feel at ease. He spent extra time with me just to make me feel less nervous and to distract me from the pain. He has a kind soul, and he did tell me he has a cute and lovely boyfriend.” The lady explained her encounter with Sehun.

“Ohhh, so you are Mrs Kim?! Sehunie also spoke about you. I’m glad that you’ve fully recovered now!”

“Yes, I’m here for my regular medical check-up with my husband and nephew. It was tough, but luckily I am tougher. We have made it through, and I am proud of myself. Dear, please give us each of the two special coffee, and an Americano for Minseok.”

“Sure, they will be ready soon.” Baekhyun started making the coffee for the three, genuinely happy to hear the compliment about his beloved Sehun.

After serving the coffee, they continued chatting for a while.

“How is Doctor Oh doing lately?” Mrs Kim asked.

“He is off for a break right now. This year has so far been challenging for him. Dealing with lives and deaths are exhausting not just physically, but emotionally and spiritually. He has done very well and has tried his best, yet he is just a normal person, like you and me. He overworked so much that he suffered from a burn-out. It took him some time to recover physically. By the time he was completely healthy again, the situation already started to improve. I then suggested him to take a break to recharge. Sehun is now on a 3-month sabbatical leave to fend off the burn-out that has piled up during the previous months, I guess it is also a great opportunity to rejuvenate his career too. He is now volunteering on a charitable organisation’s hospital ship to deliver health care services in various countries.” Baekhyun’s expression turned soft whenever he spoke about his lover.

“You are such a supportive boyfriend. After the months you have been through, you are still willing to let him go for another few months.” Minseok added, appreciating how understanding Baekhyun was.

“I still miss him of course. But if we have our whole life to spend together, a few months won’t matter that much.”

“Glad to hear your story and nice to meet you! Let’s keep in touch and I will definitely come for another coffee soon!” 

✧  
Seasons kept changing, hot Summer turned into windy Autumn. After months of anticipation, Sehun and Baekhyun reunited, finally. They were at Seoul Forest, admiring the maple leaves gradually falling from the trees. 

“Do you still remember the time I confessed to you here?” Sehun chuckled and asked.

“Of course, you made a huge heart shape with the maple leaves. It was so embarrassing... but I love it.” Baekhyun also smiled, remembering the good old days.

“Since we are here, let’s embarrass you once more. Come on!” They started to pick up leaves from the ground, making a huge heart shape in the middle of the park.

“Baby, I love you.” Sehun wrapped his hands around Baekhyun.

“Me too, I love you too.” Baekhyun raised his head and closed the distance between them. 

Maple leaves continued to fall with the light Autumn breeze. They held each other tight and kissed passionately, adding another romantic scene to their memory.

“Dear, let’s go, Jongdae and little Sooyeonie are waiting for us. We still need to go back and get the chocolate cake and the Elsa puzzle!” Interlocking their fingers, Sehun and Baekhyun left Seoul Forest, with a content and broad smile on their face.

_It was the smile of an angel._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s done finally, I expected this to be around 3-4 chapters but it ended up longer than my plan. There are some messages that I really want to convey through this story and I’m glad that I did it. My greatest gratitude to all medical professionals across the globe who are working days and nights now - you guys truly are heros. I hope all of you could stay safe and healthy. See you in the next story - it is gonna be a more interesting one :P


End file.
